Cry

I don't know why I will cry. I was in the dream I think, but the feeling is really strong. I can feel it, the hand is holding my hand, saying ‘A-boy, charm lorh' which means miserable. I was scared awake. But the moment before I can truely awake, I really feel the gentle and soft hands of holding both of my hands. It heard like my mum's sound. I really don't know what happened at that point of time.

I woke, and I don't know why my heart was beating fast. And my mind starts to come with some negatives pictures. I was so scared. I walked around the living room and my room, I had the weird feeling with it. I backed to my room and try to cool down myself. But I get out of burst, my tears were dropping non stop (even now still). I scared what the pictures in my mind will happen. I really cannot control my tears. I feel the taste of tears, it's salty but not the taste of the feeling now.

This wasn't my first time of having such feeling in the middle of the night. I don't know why I will have such dream (may be not) and feeling. I cry for more than half an hour. The taste of tears for last time (long time ago) wasn't that weird. I really hope my family (included Vicky) will be alright. I rather be the one who suffer instead of them. I love you all. Although sometimes I doesn't act like that, but in the deepest of my heart, I know, I love you all. I love you papa, mama, Jie and Vicky.